My Holy 419

Like just about everyone else with an email address, I’ve been on the receiving end of the “I am a deposed Nigerian prince and I need to transfer my family’s fortune into your bank account” email. Seen it so many times, I can spot it a mile away. The letter never really changes – or so I thought until I received the latest version. Have a look – and no, the names have not been changed (you only do that to protect the innocent). Obviously, someone’s been watching the God Channel…

Dearest in Christ,

Greetings in the name of our Saviour.

With much love of God and humanity, I am writing you this mail bearing in mind of your strong Christian belief, inclination and fear of the Lord.

For a brief introduction of myself, I am Mrs Rehab Obed, 65 years old and a retired English teacher from Al-Farwaniyah, Kuwait. I am married to Mr. Lynn Obed, a Kuwait Ivorian industrialist here in Ivory Coast. We migrated and established here during the Gulf war in our country (1990-1991). We were devoted Christians and had a child who never survived. My husband died two years ago after a brief illness.

My late husband before he died, deposited the sum of US$1.500.000.00 (one million five hundred thousand US dollars) in a security company here in Ivory Coast and I am the next of kin. The money is in a metallic box and deposited as family valuables/Artworks for international exhibition at the custody of the security company. He did this for the maximum security of the money.

Recently, my pancreatic cancer sickness is becoming more serious and my doctor has affirmed of me having a precise time to live. Being deeply concerned by the hardship and sufferings of our several charity homes, orphanages, victims of wars, aids, terrorist’s attacks and natural disasters all over the world, I decided carrying out the desire/decision of my late husband before he died which I supported to the glory of God.

We deduced donating this fund to a God fearing one who will utilise it for the caring of the above mentioned people and equally for propagating the good news of the kingdom as the Bible urged us in the book of Mathew 24:14. We took this decision because we had no child to inherit this money, coupled with the fact which the holy Bible made us to understand in the book of Acts 20:35 that, it is more blessed to give than to receive and equally in the book of Proverbs 11:25 that the generous man will be prosperous and he who waters will himself be watered.

As soon as I receive your feedback bearing your keen interest to execute this Divine project, I shall give you the contact of the security company here for you to contact them on my behalf for the immediate delivery procedure of this box to you there in your country/country of choice.

Please always remember me in your daily prayers and keep on assisting our less fortunate/privileged ones all over the world. Waiting for your soonest response.
God bless you,

Mrs. Rehab Obed.
Private e-mail: barefacedthievinggit@teefmail.com

Hmmm… right now a million “crooked televangelist” gags are running through my head. Even more surprisingly, I keep hearing Amy Winehouse’s voice. What’s she singing? “They tried to make me pay to Rehab; I said ‘No, no, no.’”